Many of the couples used texting for stuff scholars call “relationship maintenance,” or the kind of conversations that help couples get on the same page. Ordinarily having these conversations is a good thing, but texting can get in the way and makes things worse.
About 82% of young adults say they text their romantic partner many a times a day, but all that connectivity, it seems, doesn’t always translate to greater relationship euphoria. And its not always I <3 u!!! or Where do you want to go for lunch?
Published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy , in a survey of 276 group men and women around age 22 in serious relations (casual daters were excluded). Among a participants, 38% were in a critical relationship, 46% were intent and 16% were married. Brigham Young University researchers Lori Schade and Jonathan Sandberg studied the adults.
Here are a few highlights from the report they published this week in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy:
- For women: Using text messages to apologize, work out differences or make decisions is associated with lower relationship quality
- For men: Too frequent texting is associated with lower relationship quality
- For all: Expressing affection via text enhances the relationship
When it came to a series of messages, group who texted some-more mostly in pervasive reported reduce attribute peculiarity than those who didn’t ping their distress others as frequently. The researchers can usually assume about why, though think that as group undo from a relationship, or cruise a break-up, they reinstate face-to-face interactions with reduction insinuate communication in a form of increasing texting.
Women who texted some-more often, on a other hand, reported aloft peculiarity connectors with their friends than those who messaged some-more sparingly. Women tended to take to their smartphone keyboards to apologize, work out their differences and make decisions — in other words, when their attribute was in trouble. As their tie with their desired one deteriorated, women attempted to make adult or solve their differences around text, that a scientists trust is a online chronicle of a need to “talk things out.”
Reaction to disappointment and reality testing occurs more quickly face to face, Sandberg said. There is a narrowness with texting and you dont get to see the breadth of a person that you need to see.
For men, more texting doesnt necessarily mean a better relationship. And they dont just get tired of receiving texts; their relationship satisfaction is also lower when they send a lot of texts themselves.
The good news is that saying something sweet in a text works universally for men and women. In fact, sending a loving text was even more strongly related to relationship satisfaction than receiving one.
The bottom line is that if you dont have something nice to text, better not text at all.